


The only exception can become everything

by xndrx4



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU where reader is a hunter, Castiel in the Bunker, Confusion, Cute Cass, F/M, Fluff, Innocent Castiel, Kisses, One Shot, Sexuality, lesbian reader, new experiences, sam helping reading
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 15:33:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3254981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xndrx4/pseuds/xndrx4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I've always thought I knew what I liked  and I was completely sure I it wasn't boys ... until a blue eyed man made me question if there wasn't an exception.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like my fic, this is my first one so I'm kind of nervous.  
> I'm very sorry for any grammar mistake, English is not my first language and I've wrote this on my iPad a few days ago.

 

Finding out I was attracted to a man was a huge discovery for me.   
  
My whole life I had been attracted to girls. For me is was all about boobs, it has never occurred to me to find sexual attraction to a penis that wasn't plastic and wasn't used by a beautiful lady. So, discovering that I may had a tiny(big) crush on Castiel was a bit disconcerting.  
  
"I like you " he has said " I like you in a way it's hard to me to comprehend. I like you and I need you to know that. I don't want to keep secrets from you. It's not right."  
  
Since that moment I couldn't stop thinking about Cas. He hadn't tried anything, he just wanted me to know what his feelings were and that made me more confused as before. His blue eyes, the way his face lit up every time he smiled and this like that were the ones that kept me up at night.  
  
"You like women.Not men. " I told myself looking at the mirror four weeks after Castiel's confession. "Maybe you find him cute and that's all"   
  
But I knew that wasn't all. I had feelings for him, at least as a friend.   
  
_"He was the one that always cheered me up whenever I was down. He was the one that didn't leave my side after being hurt in a hunt. He was the one that helped you go through your best friend's death months ago"_ I thought as I left my room and began to walk to the library where I new I would find someone who could help me figure out what the hell I was feeling.   
  
As I entered the library I saw Sam sitting in a sofa reading a book. He was always reading and learning new stuff.   
  
"Hey" I said sitting in an armchair facing him "where are the boys?"  
  
"Oh, hey " Sam closed the book and looked at me " Dean went to buy food and Cas is out somewhere doing whatever he does in his free time"   
  
I let out a sight and sat crossing my legs caring little about my manners.  
  
"What's wrong ?" He asked looking at me preoccupied. He was always looking after me like if I was his little sister and I was flattered. I definitely considered him my big brother.  
  
"Cas confessed to me about a month ago." I blurted out.    
  
"But... What?" By the look on Sam's face I figured he was a bit shocked "I thought he knew that you are into girls"  
  
"He does know . He said that he just didn't want to keep secrets from me. I guess he doesn't care much about it.." I replied looking him frowning a bit. Cas did know I was a lesbian cause he had seen me with girls in bars or a casual fling leaving a motel after a successful hunt. Hell, he even heard Dean's comments about me being a wonderful version of himself without a dick.  
  
"What did you do?"   
  
"Nothing. I was shocked.. I didn't know what to say so I just stared at him until Dean came into the kitchen and I left to check something about a hunt with him." I was looking at my hands at this point. Shame is what I felt for being suck an asshole and leaving Cas waiting for an answer. "I kind of didn't talk about it again and I've been avoiding being alone with him. I still don't know what to say"   
  
"Hey, look at me." Sam's hand reached my face and touched my cheek gently making me smile. He was always so kind and sweet with me that made me love him more. It was sad so see him so alone at times when he deserved to be loved far more than lot of people out there. "It's normal that you'd  been shocked. You never expected him to like you in a more than friendly way. Maybe you should talk to him and tell him that you aren't interested, that you like girls and..."  
  
"That's the problem Sammy.. " I interrupted him " I don't know what I feel. I've always knew that I liked girls but now.. I seem to be unable to stop thinking about him. I don't know why.. I've never liked a man before and I don't even know if I like him like him. If he was a girl I'd be sure I have a crush but now... He is so kind, so sweet, he's always there for me and he never treated me wrong, I don't want to give him hope and then tell him that I was wrong and I'm only into girls."  
  
At that point I was about to cry. Yes, I was very emotional and very girly but that confusion was making me frustrated, and knowing that I could hurt Cas' feelings wasn't helping me.  
  
"Well, I did not expect that" Sam laughed a bit. "First of all , it's okay to not know how do you feel. We all feel confused sometimes and I can imagine how would I react if I suddenly discover that I have a crush on a boy and that boys turns out that is my best friend" I nodded at his words " Second of all, I think you could hurt him even more by leaving him hanging and avoiding him. You know he doesn't fully understand human reactions and emotions so.. I guess that talking to him is the best thing to do"   
  
"You're right. I can't leave him hanging...but what should I say? 'Hey sorry I've been a bit off I can't decide whether I like you or I'm only attracted to tits'?" He chuckled and shake his head while looking at me.  
  
"Tell him the truth. Tell him you don't really know how to feel. Tell him that you're confused and that you don't wanna hurt him. He's not a fool you know, he'll understand" Sam smiled at me as I nodded . His advices where the best regarding this things. If he were Dean he'll probably say something about drinking and fucking or maybe that I shouldn't be such a "girl" about it and that he doesn't do chick flick moments.  
  
"Thank you Sammy. You're the best." I stood up and went to hug him. Well I actually jump on him. He has always been a big guy and a bit of weight didn't hurt him.   
  
"No problem sweetheart" Sam replied catching me and hugging me as he left a kiss on my forehead. We stayed like that for a bit and I could tell that I wasn't the only one that needed the hug. From that moment on I told myself that I'll start giving Sam more hugs and show him more affection. Everybody needs affection and he was not different.   
  
_"Maybe Dean needs  more affection too"_ I thought a few seconds before someone coughed making me move away from Sam.  
  
"Guys, what if you two stop being all emotional and help me make dinner. I don't know about you two but I'm starving ." Dean said caring about five supermarket bags full of food and stuff. "Oh, and Cas called me and told me he won't be back until noon. He wanted to visit the zoo so he decided to go alone. He said something about monkeys and I don't know what else."  
  
I smiled at that and got up to go help Dean. The decision was made, I was going to talk to Cas that night.  
  
  
  
............

 

It was night and I was walking up and down in my room. I thought about what Sam and I had talked once again but still I didn't know how to talk about the whole thing with Cas.  
  
"Okay. You are a beautiful, strong and smart woman so go out there and be a man for once in your life" I tell myself in the mirror. I took a breath and got out of my room.   
  
" _Just relax. Think about anything. Think about... The bunker. Yeah, think about how great is living here with Sam, Dean and Cas...Cas...Cas likes me and I don't know how to get my shit together and face him. Shit shit shit. Think about the bunker again"_ Giving a peep talk to myself didn't worked as I had thought. I was just about to turned to go locked myself in my room when I heard footsteps.   
  
"And there was a penguin who hit himself to the window twice. It was funny." Cas said to Dean just a few steps away from me. He was smiling telling the older brother about how great his day at the zoo went while Dean smiled listening. Dean always smiled more around Cas, it was cute.   
  
"Geez girl, why do you look like you've seen a ghost? " Dean asked me as he stop walking and looked at me frowning a bit. "Wait, you haven't seen a ghost right?"  
  
"Is everything okay?" Now was the angel who talked. Concern was clear in his voice and his blue eyes watched mine trying to figured me out.  
  
"No. Yes... Cas, can we talk? " I looked to the floor as the question slipped my mouth. Didn't have to look at Dean to know he was wondering what was all about.  
  
"Okay." The blue eyed man said quickly .   
  
"Okay... Erghhh...follow me." My voice came out as a whisper , my eyes were on the floor and I didn't wait for an answer as I started walking to my bedroom leaving the door opened behind me.  
  
Once the two of us were alone in my room I started walking nervously again. Cas must've felt that this was important and private cause he closed the door behind him when he entered and waited patiently for me to start.  
  
"I... I... Oh God, why this is so hard? " I said. I couldn't stop walking and facing him was not an easy thing to do.   
  
"(Y/n) ,What's wrong?" The angel asked as he stood in front of me and touched my shoulders. I looked at him and sight. I could see myself in those blue eyes and stayed like that forever.  
  
"I'm sorry." I blurted out. He was about to say something when I continued. Once I started I couldn't stop, it was better that way. " I'm sorry I left you hanging when you told me you liked me. I'm sorry I avoided you for weeks and only talked to you while hunting or while the boys were around...Cas.. I'm so sorry. I...I wasn't expecting you to say that, to feel that way about me but that's not the point here. You confessing to me left me confused. For my whole life I've liked women and now suddenly I'm confused because of a man's feelings. "  
  
Castiel stood silence until I finished he was frowning a bit.  
  
"I don't quite fully understand..I know you are attracted to your own gender but how did I confused you? I knew that you wouldn't feel the same about me and that it was a possibility to make you distance yourself from me. I don't have nothing to forgive, I'm sorry to make you feel bad."   
  
His words were kind and full of doubts. I could see in his eyes all the emotions he was having, from confusion to acceptance, from forgiveness to guilt. He was the kindest being I've ever met, the most innocent once and the most loveable.  
  
"Don't be sorry. It was wrong what I did." I sat on the bed now crossing my legs and making him a signal to come sit in front of me. He did and watched me in silence, absorbing every gesture in my face.  
"Cas, I'm confused cause for the first time I may have romantic feelings towards a man. This is a first in my life and I feel a bit lost. And I'm scared too, I'm scared of being wrong and giving you hope when it turns out that I only like girls" He frowned a bit more and his eyes showed a bit of hurt "But.. I also feel like I do like you as more than just friends, since that day I can't stop thinking about you. I'm a mess right now but I feel like you deserve to know how I feel. You deserve everything.." Those last words came out as a whisper. My hands were resting in my knees and  my eyes were looking at them as if they were something interesting.   
  
"You know that I'm and angel and angel don't really have gender right? I'm just in a man's vessel" he said making me look at him smiling a bit.  
  
"Are you saying that you consider yourself a woman?" I asked joking as he gave me the sweetest smiled possible.  
  
"No. I don't consider myself either male nor female... Well, maybe a bit more a male after all this years in this vessel but still. If your problem is liking a male I'm not sure if I'm a male without the fact that my vessel is. " Cas said.   
  
"True. But.. Cas I don't wanna hurt you. You're my best friend and don't wanna be the reason why you end up with a broken heart or something."   
  
"Do you like me as a person? Do you like my soul? " The angel questioned in a serious tone. I thought about it a few seconds and realised there wasn't much to think about. I did like him as a person, and I guess I like his soul. I wonder if there existed any other soul as pure as Castiel 's (and not saying pure because of his grace).  
  
"Yes. You are one of the best persons I've ever met. I don't think there is anybody with has such a good heart as yours" My answer was so honest that it felt personal in a whole other level.  
  
"Then you like me Castiel, but not my vessel"he said a bit blushed because of the compliments. "Do you want me to find another vessel?"  
  
"What? No." The answer to that question was as simple as the answer to what is the number which follows two. I looked at his face and slowly scanned his body, I tried to imagined Castiel in any other body but that was just impossible, in a way his body was also part of who he was even if he existed way before the body did, way before the body belonged to him. And I did like that body.  I liked the blue eyes and cute smile. I liked how he was a bit taller than me so whenever I hugged him my head rested on his shoulder comfortably. I liked Cas, all of him. He didn't need a pair of boobs and a vagina to make me laughed or made me feel good, he just needed to be there and be himself.  
  
"I... Guess.. No. I'm sure. Cas, I like you" I said looking straight into his eyes. It was dumb not to realised before and to wait until that moment when I was a mess but I guess that in an other way I could've seen. "I don't know how I didn't see it. The thought of you in another vessel just doesn't seem right and , I like who you are."  
  
" I like who you are too (y/n)" The angel smiled , making me smiled too. He grabbed my hands and hold them. It was a slight touch but I knew he didn't want me to feel awkward. I had just realised I liked him and he didn't pressured me as any other person will do.  
  
"Can I hug you? I just want to hold you, it feels the right thing to do" the question was shy and came as a whisper. One thing I hadn't thought before that moment was how much I liked his voice.  
  
Without saying a word I move into his lap resting in his legs hugging him as he put his hands around my waist. I felt safe , it was nice. So nice that  I fell asleep still in his arms and I had a better sleep than I had in a long, long time.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this guys, I wrote this short chapter long ago but I wasn't sure if I should published it.

When I woke up, before I opened my eyes, I felt Castiel's arm around my body and the beat of his heart pounding in my year. I didn't remember when exactly I had fallen asleep but I didn't mind. Confortable was nothing compared to that.

Yes, a part of myself found odd the feeling of having a much harder and bigger body against me and not the softer and little one of a female , but the other part of me felt so right. 

I opened my eyes and saw the angel's face as he slept quietly. His chest went up and down slowly and his face was so relax he looked even younger. He was cute, even beautiful. I knew that cute and beautiful wasn't the usual words to describe a man but "hot" or "sexy" didn't feel as right as handsome and beautiful. 

I don't know how much time I had spent watching him sleep until his eyes shoot open and a smile appeared on his face. I smiled back , shyly and gently brush his messy dark hair.

"Hello" he said with a husky voice. I didn't though it was possible for it to get rougher or sexier but it clearly could.

"Hi Cas" my reply was just a whisper that could pass as a sight but he seemed pleased. 

I watched him a bit with my hand still in his hair. It was so soft. I watched his lips and frowned a bit. "Should I kiss him?" I wondered. I kept on looking his lips for a few minutes. I could tell he knew what my inner debate was but he didn't say a word. 

After a few minutes he licked his lips and left them a bit parted. I gasp as my eyes flew to his eyes. I could see that his pupils were dilated a bit and he was waiting something. I knew what he wanted and I wanted too, so I leaned. 

Candy. Sweet strawberry candy was what his lips tasted like. They were softer than they seemed and even if the kiss was just peck it felt amazing. I wondered if his grace had anything to do with it or if I was just exaggerating it all but I didn't care too much. Kissing him felt amazing and I wanted to do it again. So I did.

The second peck quickly turned into a proper kiss. Cass seemed to know what he was doing, his mouth was hungry against mine. For a second I thought that I'd passed out if he kept on kissing me in that way.

When my tongue slipped into his mouth he moaned against my mouth and in that moment I decided that was my favourite sound. My hand rested in his hair as his hand hold me tight in my waist. We were still laying on bed , him with half of my body on his , so close together that it hurt. My heart was racing, he must've felt it and everytime he let a moan of pleasure I could felt my own moan escaped from my throat and my lips.

It could be a few minutes or an eternity by the time we broke apart both of us were with our lips swollen and our breath unstable. The angel was blushed and seeing him like that made me smiled. I gave him a quick peck and got myself off him and lay this time by his side still smiling. That kiss had made me aroused in a way, Castiel had made me aroused and in a strange way was funny to me so I laughed.

"What?" He asked confused. 

"You are a hell of a kisser" I looked at him. The huge grin on his face was so cute that I had to contained myself from kissing him again. "Maybe his kisses are a drug" I told myself.

"Was that your first kiss?" I questioned him. If it was his first kiss, he'll he had a gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, if you liked it please leave kudos or a comment.   
> If you have any critique please do tell me, I'm trying to improve my writing and my English.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you again for reading it , I'd appreciate if you could leave any comments or just leave kudos.


End file.
